The Mystery of Moustaches

I'd greatly appreciate it if someone could inform me on what the appeal of a moustache is. I just don't get it. I'm not sure if I've been oblivious to it my whole life or if I'm correct when I say that I've noticed that an unusually high number of male characters have been sporting staches lately. Maybe the month of March is the prime time to grow a moustache? If that's the case, I'm boycotting March. This past week as I've been strolling around campus, visiting the post office in the WILK and interacting with men in general I couldn't help but observe that a moustache plague has hit Provo. I really don't understand the enticement of a little tuft of hair covering the upper lip; lets be honest, it's slightly disgusting. I can see the theory behind a full-grown beard: it gives the appearance of being a manly-man, it adds a little ruggedness and gives the illusion that the man wearing the facial hair is "tough". I can handle a small beard. A moustache, however, just screams 'child molester'. I'm willing to bet any amount of money that if there's a story on the 5 o'clock news about a child molester he's going to be the proud owner of a stache...not a beard. This latest phenomenon has made me question BYU's honor code which states, and I quote, "If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean shaven; beards are not acceptable." Really BYU? You allow moustaches but not a few whiskers on the cheek? I'm not a big fan of facial hair in general, but I can promise you this: I'd rather have a rugged caveman roaming around campus than a potential molester.

{My deepest apologies if this post has offended anyone. I am aware that this is a huge stereotype and I know plenty of good, kind men who sport a stache. However, this does not mean that I support their decision to wear one.}