The Phenomenon of Finger-Licking

Remember in school when the teacher would pass out papers? She always had to insert her index finger into her mouth and wet it with so much saliva that the spit could have dripped off the mentioned finger and then proceeded to count out five papers, just enough for everyone in the row. The first paper on the stack had a wet spot so thick you could see through it, and gradually the spot got less and less visible until the last paper in the stack had almost no remains of the effects of a licked finger. I always liked to be in the front row when this phenomenon occurred so that I could strategically take the last paper in the stack and avoid receiving a paper full of teacher-spit. I always saw it as a nauseating practice and could never understand how licking a finger could help that much in picking up a piece of paper. Until now. I am reluctant and appalled to admit that I have become a finger-licker. Disgusting, I know. However, my recent employment as an HR "paper organizer/filer/scanner" (I made up the title) has forced me to conform to this ritual. I flip through an average of 2,000 pieces of paper a day and my poor little index finger gets rather dry. I have no choice. I must lick. The other day I started counting how many times I lick my finger in an hour while working; I stopped counting after 20 minutes because I was shocked (with a negative connotation) at how high the number was climbing. I couldn't bare to keep track of such a thing any longer, so I quit counting. I lick my finger to grasp a piece of paper more than I would ever like to openly admit. It's rather embarrassing. Needless to say, I wash my hands much more often than I have in my past and I apply a dime-sized dollop of lotion just as frequently in a vain attempt to keep the finger moist and altogether avoid finger-licking.

While we're on the subject of finger-licking...
I will admit that I lick my finger to count papers, although not something I'm proud of, I believe it is semi-socially acceptable if used sparingly. Finger-licking to remove food, however, not acceptable in any way, shape or form. The most unpleasant sight is when someone has just consumed their own body weight in Cheetos and then proceeds to lick the orange residue off their fingers. Oh, it makes me want to gag. In fact, I do gag. I once went on a date with this kid who so obnoxiously licked his fingers in between every bite he took. It wasn't a subtle lick either, it was full on, shoving his fingers down his throat, kind of licks. I found it so repulsive that there was no chance of a second date...well it was that among other qualities he possessed, but his finger licking obsession was a huge turn off. Bless his heart.

To sum up my thoughts: finger-licking is nasty. I'm ashamed to say I've been forced to participate in the act.