Installment One: The Episodes of a Cookie Crusade

• This evening a fellow comrade made cookies for FHE. They were the cookies of the gods. Despite their flakey, buttery perfection, after the close of the evenings festivities we had nearly two dozen cookies remaining in our kitchen. The fellow comrade and maker of the cookies, DaLynn, went against Megan and I's persuasion and invited her crush over to share and partake of the bountiful blessings overflowing from our oven. Within 30 seconds, there was a ominous sounding knock on our door. We hesitantly cracked the door open and he kicked it in, causing Megan to sprawl on the floor. Without a thought he stepped over her broken body and into the kitchen. He demanded the cookies, M&M's, ice cream and three cans of Betty Crocker frosting for his own selfish desires and to satisfy his own FHE families cravings. In fear for my own safety, for I had seen the proof of his violent temper in the remains of my dear cousin and friend, Megan, I quickly complied to his every command and assembled the items he forcefully required. DaLynn swooned in the background crying, "Please take everything you want and more, even my heart, my dearest love." In my desperate helplessness, I looked frantically around the room and from the corner of my eye I beheld a flutter of tail feathers and a haunting melody filled my ears. As Megan received life into her frail body, the Phoenix had disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Megan had been reborn. She stood up in majesty of power with a strength that not even pure evil in the form of an innocent crush could overcome. She spake in a commanding voice, "Leave thou the cookies on the counter and touch not the tubes of frosting nor ice cream, surrender the M&M's and BE GONE FROM HERE, NEVER TO RETURN." DaLynn wept in the background (for though she was a very bright girl she had been understandably deceived by his handsome physique). With a single glance, telepathic waves were exchanged and Megan and I swooped in on the unsuspecting fellow. During a fearsome battle that ensued, which caused disarray in the kitchen, we fought with every strength and fiber in our beings. For we knew for which purposes and food items we were fighting for. Spatulas were used. Pots were used. Panini makers were used. All manner of kitchen utensils and appliances were employed to win the battle. The armed conflict raged for many hours. I stopped for but a moment to wipe the blood and sweat out of my eyes and I found myself alone with Megan in the kitchen. The culprit had escaped in the din with a plate of cookies and one tube of Betty Crocker frosting!!!!! We mourned the loss of our fallen comrades and howled like inconsolable ravenous wolves at our misfortune. We took stock of the battlefield and surveyed our standings. The casualties: two dozen sugar cookies. 1 tube of vanilla Betty Crocker frosting. The survivors: Megan. Stacie. Half empty carton of vanilla ice cream. Half a bag of M&M's. 2 cans of chocolate Betty Crocker frosting. Despite our casualties, we had come out victorious. Currently we are plotting our revenge....Until next week. To be continued.

Written and directed by Stacie Hymas and Megan Child

The battle that ensued: